In my life I have had a total of two (2) close friends who were still good friends after entering a romantic relationship. If I’ve ever been a jerk or ignored you while you were suffering because of my relationship, I’m sincerely sorry. The loneliness that comes with relying on an absent person is unparalleled.
- Me: Hi, mom. Do we have any macaroni and cheese?
- Mom: Don't you have plans for dinner tonight?
- Me: That's at 7:30 this evening... It's only 1:00 right now and I haven't had a chance to eat something substantial yet today.
- Mom: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. ARE YOU ON SOME KIND OF DEATH PLAN? I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE WHEN YOU'RE LIVING ALONE. WOW. YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO TAKE CARE OF SOMEBODY ELSE WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN GET SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF TO EAT. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO FIND SOMETHING TO EAT IN THE KITCHEN AND THEN CHECK YOURSELF INTO A MENTAL INSTITUTION BECAUSE--WHERE ARE YOU GOING
- Me: Back to my room. I don't want to get upset.
- Mom: COME BACK HERE. THERE'S NO FOOD IN YOUR ROOM YOU COME BACK OUT HERE AND--
- Me: -Closes door-
- (In light of the recent tragedy in Connecticut, I was hoping to find some tenderness and closeness with my mother just for once, but that is clearly too much to ask.
- With each passing day, I anticipate my move to a place that is as far away from this despicable city as possible.)
Your “special snowflake” point of view makes me sick, you know that? Before you start calling out others, why don’t you take a step back and look at yourself?
Seriously, I just want to curl up in my bed and not wake up for a very, very long time. I feel my depression setting in and it’s hitting me pretty hard tonight… I could really use a friend right now…
I thought that joining a sorority would help me with social things and that I may have met some likeminded women, but now that there is the possibility of friendship looming over me just out of my grasp, it makes the potential friendships I’m so obviously not a part of all the more heartbreaking.
It’s nights like tonight when I wish that I didn’t have to care about being alone all the time.
I want to apologise for this seemingly random outburst of negativity, but I’ve been holding all of these thoughts in my heart for some time now and I feel them spilling over in the form of tears in my eyes.
I’m not trying to seek attention… I just needed somewhere to say what I have been thinking and because of the lack of people to talk to, it may as well be here, where I’ve kept some level of anonymity and since there is so much text here, most of you will pass it by on principle.
I sincerely hope you all are having a happier evening than me.
That’s all, I guess.