55) Are you good at hiding your feelings?
It depends on who I’m with, honestly. I am not as good at hiding my feelings around people that I’m comfortable with, but in a group of acquaintances or strangers, nobody would have any idea that I could be having a hard time. My friends or the people with whom I spend a lot of time can usually see through my attempts at keeping a strong face, but respect me enough to not ask or point it out until we’re in private. I detest looking weak or sick in front of people, since a lot of people in my life rely on me to be their crying shoulder or have the right answers. It is difficult for me to be vulnerable with people, which is further magnified by the deep trust issues I have. Bleh
I also have a really nasty habit of keeping my grievances to myself and suffering in silence, even if someone is doing something that hurts my feelings or makes me uncomfortable. I want people to feel like they can be themselves around me, so I’ve found that keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself unless I’m specifically asked to present them is the best policy for receiving candid answers from them.
60) Do you hate anyone?
Not at all. Hating someone is a waste of time and energy, and gives people who are poisonous or negative a level of attention and thought they don’t deserve, and it isn’t conductive to anything except more hate. I’d rather be neutral about someone in order to keep my thoughts tranquil and the possibility of reparation or forgiveness open. There are times when I wish I could make myself hate people, but I really can’t. I forgive people who hurt me almost immediately and should they choose to walk out of my life, I let them go. If they come back or need me, I’m always available to talk to. Why put all that negative energy in the universe, anyway? It rots your core and makes you grotesque. People who hate are the most unbecoming and difficult ones to be around. Hating someone also cuts off any opportunity to allow them to change, which is something people do all the time. We are so fallible as a race that to let someone hurt you to the point of hatred makes you assume a role of judgement that I feel is not acceptable for a mere human. Everyone in this world makes mistakes and slapping a label of “hate” on them closes any doors for further understanding or communication, and that’s one of the ugliest things I can think of.